


Lister's Christmas Package

by kronette



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Christmas, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-08
Updated: 2015-12-08
Packaged: 2018-05-05 03:48:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5359961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kronette/pseuds/kronette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just another Christmas aboard Red Dwarf.  Prompt(s): <a href="http://zolturates.tumblr.com/image/127497657183">This is the prezzie Lister makes for Rimmer</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lister's Christmas Package

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LordValeryMimes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordValeryMimes/gifts).



"Smeg, Lister…" Rimmer's voice failed him as he looked at the large package. 

Lister looked inordinately pleased with himself, that twinkle in his eye a forewarning of something mischievous about to happen. 

Rimmer walked a wide berth around the Christmas tree; beside it the garishly decorated present lay in wait. Rimmer studied it critically, wondering if it was rigged to dispense confetti or haggis, as Lister's variations on 'traditional' tended to go to the extreme. For all Rimmer knew, Cat was stuffed inside that monstrosity, awaiting a signal to burst out of the box and start singing. 

"Rimmer, I swear: it won't bite," Lister urged in a quiet tone, the one Rimmer knew meant that he'd hurt Lister's feelings. 

Still hesitant, he approached the chest-tall box, eyeing it warily. It wasn't making any noises, so nothing living was inside. A wild, vivid image came to him then of Lister clad only in the large, lopsided bow, popping up from inside the box. A faint smile curved Rimmer's lips as he murmured, "Should have been you wrapped up in a bow," before pulling one of the dangling ribbon ends. 

Rimmer felt his lover's presence at his back, yet he still inhaled sharply when arms encircled his waist. Six and a half years and his body still reacted as if experiencing Lister's touch for the first time, no matter how innocent the light touch may be. 

"Next year, if you're good," was the warm reply, sending an equal warmth through Rimmer. 

Lister's hands slipped from his waist as Rimmer pushed the ribbons to the floor and lifted the lid. 

Bright orange assaulted his vision, followed closely by a pink the shade of bubble gum. It was striped with other colors, crocheted…oh smeg. "What have you done, Dave Lister?" he asked in his best neutral tone, trying not to offend his lover while at the same time trying to get a hint as to what it _was_. 

Lister had run out of normal things to crochet long ago and tended to make up things he thought would be useful. Whatever this was, it was _huge_ and Rimmer was afraid that if he took it out of the box, it would swallow their quarters in a matter of seconds.

"It started as something for you," Lister began as Rimmer touched the material. It was softer than he expected it to be, nubby and comfortable. Lost in the feel of the material, he missed some of Lister's explanation. "…Miscounted the rows and I'd spent so much time on it already, that I thought I could…" 

Rimmer turned and pulled Lister to him, silencing his rambling description with a gentle, thorough kiss. Through it, forgiveness was asked for and given, apologies offered and accepted, and promises for the rest of the evening shared. 

When they parted, Lister was slightly breathless. "Try it on now, yeah?" 

Without knowing or caring what he was agreeing to, Rimmer nodded. As he reached into the box, Lister took the other side of what Rimmer had assumed was a blanket, but could now see a row of buttons down the front of the…sweater? A two-person sweater. Rimmer shook his head. Only Lister… 

He found himself stripped of his jacket and his arm stuffed into the right arm before he could protest, but then Lister was at his side inside the sweater and the warmth was suddenly stifling. 

"Hey, Rimmer," Lister called to him in that naughty, you're-not-going-to-like-my-suggestion tone. 

"Lister," he replied cautiously. 

The cheeky grin was on in full force and the warm brown eyes were twinkling. "If we had sex while wearing this, would you say we were snug as a bug being buggered under a rug?"

Rimmer counted to five before answering, "If you intend to ever be buggered again, you'll refrain from the bad jokes and puns." 

Lister's expression didn't so much as flicker. "So it's a Happy Christmas then, Smeghead?" 

Rimmer couldn't hold onto his annoyance in the face of that grin. "It's always a Happy Christmas with you, Listy." 

The sweater-blanket proved to be one of the more useful of Lister's gifts over the years, as it retained body heat better than the standard issue JMC blankets. That first night, however, it nearly strangled Lister as they tried to maneuver to the bed without leaving its confines. Sliding to the floor, giggling like little boys, Rimmer rested his head on Lister's chest and gave silent thanks to Whatever decided that if there had to be only one human being left alive in the universe, it was Dave Lister.

"So what's me present, then?" Lister asked cheekily as his hands wandered down Rimmer's body, tickling and enticing in equal measure. "New boots? Socks? Don't tell me: a new toothbrush." 

Rimmer caught one of Lister's hands and pressed a kiss to his palm. "I love you," he said simply. His recycled present of the past five years had the same effect every year: Lister's eyes would fill with tears, he would smile softly, and they would tease each other to a slow, intense climax far into the night. 

Before they got too lost in the moment, Lister kissed him softly and murmured, "Love you, Arnold," holding him as Rimmer dropped his head to Lister's shoulder, moved beyond words at the gifts he'd been given. 

The End


End file.
